I found out I was pregnant after leaving a college party. Before Embrace Grace, I was in a season of newness. I'd just moved to Texas, so I had no friends or family nearby. I stepped out on faith because I believed God was calling me there, so I went. In the midst of all this newness, I was meeting new people and starting a new job, but I had been single for a while, and I started to get weary of waiting for God to send me someone.
From age 16-21, I abstained from sex. But when you're in a new place where you don't know anybody, and you're not in a good place mentally– when it comes to believing after you've been waiting for so many years–the enemy comes in real good if you crack the door open.
I was in a place where…I don't even know what to call it. I'm unsure if I was seeking attention or love–I don't know. But I started to let my guard down; I started to compromise. Instead of doing what God called me to do, I was dating whoever and having sex; I had no self-control. I still knew God–I still loved Him. I was still going to church, but I hadn't surrendered that part of my life to Him. I stopped believing God was going to send someone to love me.
The day I found out I was pregnant, I thought I was just sick, but I didn't know why, so I went to the emergency room. As I was explaining this, the doctor said, "Oh! It's because you're pregnant." I was shocked. Not because I was wondering how it happened but because I didn't know who the father was. I couldn't trace it back to anyone because I had been with multiple men. After getting the news, I remember crying uncontrollably as I looked up abortion clinics. I kept thinking I can't have this baby; I don't even know who the father is! I knew nothing about this stuff, and I didn't even believe in abortion, but in that moment, it felt like my only option.
I was overwhelmed with despair and hopelessness– like the tears rolling down my face were flooding me. I was overcome with discouragement and shame. And then, this supernatural peace came over me. It was like God instantly shut down everything I was feeling. It was as if He was saying, "Nope, not my daughter, satan, you got the wrong one!" At that moment, I felt like God was speaking to keep my baby and trust Him, and if I trusted Him, He would take care of me. So I did. And honestly, I didn't even have enough money for an abortion. It was the one time in my life that I was glad to be broke!
After learning about my pregnancy, I didn't initially tell anyone, but I went to a local pregnancy center. They told me about their parenting classes, prayed for me, and gave me a Bible. During one of these parenting classes, I received an Embrace Grace Love Box. By this point, I already started my Embrace Grace journey, but the onesie, necklace, and handwritten letter that was so sweet encouraged me to keep attending the classes.
Eventually, I told my family, and my mother, who was attending this church, told me about Embrace Grace. I took that as confirmation that I was doing the right thing. My first days of attending class weren't amazing, wonderful, or lovely like others expressed theirs was. Even though I was showing up and surrounded by loving people, I was still in a very emotionally dark place. I still felt overwhelmed and discouraged.
It wasn't until the candle ceremony that my experience began to change. It was super windy outside, and we were trying to keep the candle from blowing out as we talked about how God shines His light in dark places. Then, a leader covered my candle to keep it from blowing out. At that moment, I felt God was showing me that these people were here to help keep my fire for God and His love and purpose for my life from blowing out. From that day forward, my mind shifted, and I started showing up to Embrace Grace happier. I began to make friends with the other moms; I was more transparent and open, and I began to feel like I could really do this. I could be a good mom.
God was doing miracles in my personal life. A few months later, not only did I get fired from my job, but I also learned that my pregnancy was a higher risk than I thought. But I kept seeing God's hand during this time. He helped me find a new job and helped me pay rent and other expenses through the church. It brought me back to that moment in my car when God told me to trust Him so He could take care of me. He did everything He said He would.
When God said, "I'll take care of you," He already had Embrace Grace in mind. He worked out everything for my good. Because I was high-risk, my baby was born in the NICU, and I missed out on the precious moments most moms get with their newborns, and that was very difficult for me. Even though it didn't take the pain away, Embrace Grace was there for me; they supported me through that tough time and lifted some burdens off my shoulders.
I was so encouraged at the baby shower. Having people who didn't even know me supply me with beautifully wrapped things for my baby–some things I didn't even think about– was such a blessing! Now, my son is eight years old, and I'm still a single mom, but based on the miracles He's made happen for me, my faith is transformed, and I believe He will send me a Godly husband!
I'm honored and grateful that God loved me enough to rearrange some things to make these divine opportunities for me to be a part of this program. Embrace Grace truly represents the hands and feet of Jesus. Their obedience to show me love despite who and where I was completely changed my pregnancy experience.
Find a place of belonging in a support group for moms with unexpected pregnancies or single, young moms and dads.
