During my first pregnancy, I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. He was five pounds and oh so perfect. I felt like I had found what I had been searching for my whole life in him. I had plans to pour all my love and energy into my baby boy. I wanted to raise him in a house full of love and acceptance. But four months and 19 days later, I had to say goodbye to my firstborn forever.
Losing my baby broke me– it broke my spirit. I lost all my faith in God. How could He take my baby from me? How could He ignore my cries? Why didn't He take me instead? Losing my son turned me into someone I didn't recognize. I was abusing drugs and alcohol. I lived through two miscarriages that, at the time, I considered a punishment from God. When I turned 21, alcohol became my biggest vice. I truly believed that I would never be a mother again, and that consistent thought had me binge drinking daily. But shortly after my birthday, I found out I was pregnant.
After finding out I was pregnant again, my thought process shifted. I started questioning myself. Like how could I forsake God, knowing that my baby boy is in heaven? How will I join him if I don't believe? It wasn't until my fiance's coworker told me about Embrace Grace that I put actions behind restoring my relationship with God. It was hard for me to believe these women were willing to love and give so freely with no strings attached. It astounded me.
Since joining Embrace Grace, I've gained a community of kind and accepting women. I have accepted Jesus Christ into my heart and dedicated my daughter Fayelynn to Him. Every week, I attend classes with my daughter, and she is shown nothing but love and gets to learn alongside me. I strive to retain as much knowledge as possible to continue to lead by example for my daughter.
I have found a peace I never expected in my relationship with Jesus. I want my daughter to grow up in a household where you can always feel God's love. I plan to join the church and attend as often as possible, even after the semester ends. I can not wait to see how our life develops in the light of Christ.
Find a place of belonging in a support group for moms with unexpected pregnancies or single, young moms and dads.
